Thursday, 5 February 2009

Wii Fit - A New Age

Remember when I was complaining about my weight? I am sure you don't feel that you need to retain everything that spews forth from my mouth... I understand that. That is why I've given you a link.

Do you feel as though you have wasted more time then you really had now? If so, you could probably go without reading this post. If you do have plenty of time up your sleeve, come on a journey with me while I go into detail about how I am combating my weight gain. Wii Fit and pilates.

If you are not aware of how Wii Fit works, let me give you a brief explanation. You sign up to be a participant and then the Wii Fit balance board asks you to step on it (nice little thing, isn't it?). While you are distracted by how nicely the balance board asks you to do anything, it will craftily weigh you. Without even asking! As well as weighing you, it will also check to see if you are completely balanced. I particularly enjoy the moments when it tells me I am unbalanced.... "Unbalanced... I'll give you unbalanced!"

After the sneaky weigh-in and balance test, it will tell you exactly how fat your are and then ask if you would like to test your athletic ability. Your athletic ability is tested by more specific balance tests and are randomly set. Sometimes I have to stand on one leg, other times I am trying to smash blue boxes with dots (it's all very technical). There are always TWO athletic ability tests.

Today as I turned the Wii Fit on, LQ insisted on standing on the balance board. She has taken to making sure she gets a turn, so I usually put on the skiing game for her and she is able to ski her way to the worst time record. The little Wii person always hangs her head in shame, an action that LQ has learned to copy and thinks is cool to do (hang her head in shame).

After LQ's turn, I decided to do my body test. I managed to push LQ off the balance board and stood on it to get the weight verdict. I have gained 100 grams. A trifle really. Nothing to burst into tears about. I shrug my shoulders and explain the weight gain with "it's a different time of the day than last time I weighed myself". Then on to the body test.

First, I smashed the blue boxes with the red dot (using my above average balance of course). The Wii Fit measures your success in percentages. I think I got 76% or there abouts. The next test was this: "Stand as still as possible for 30 seconds". Easy enough, right?

As I stood there being as still as possible, LQ decided it was her turn again, so she turned away from the tv to face me and shoved her head right between my legs. While her head was stuck between my legs, she tried to move her body and legs on to the balance board that is designed for ONE person only. I wasn't sure whether I should laugh or sigh with exasperation. So as I struggled to untangle LQ from my legs, I laughed out a "LQ, get off! You are ruining my athletic ability". She looked up with a grin and continued to push ME off the board.

My success? 2%!

That isn't all. After all this testing the Wii Fit will give me my Wii Fit Age. It uses my weight, my actual age and my athletic ability success to determine the age my body really is. It's a bit of a laugh really that shouldn't be taken seriously. IF you do get a Wii Fit age that is younger than your actual age, then you should take it seriously and gloat about for at least a day.

Want to know my Wii Fit age today?

48... that's Forty Eight. The big Four Eight.

Today I am an unbalanced 48 year old whose body is about to give way. I have decided to act accordingly. I just need some ideas on how to do it. So I will spend the rest of the day researching unbalanced 48 year old's on the internet.


DeNae said...

Allow me, an unbalanced 45 year old, to aid in your research. Here's how to act accordingly: Take a pound of peanut M&Ms to the tub. Fill the tub with water. Find a good book to read. Turn away from any mirrors, disrobe, climb into the tub, and do what anyone with a good book and a pound of M&Ms and a family terrified to come into the bathroom for fear of what horrors lurk beneath that washcloth would do.

No need to thank me, Helen. Really, I'm one of life's natural helpers.

Hel said...

Ah DeNae. You really gave me a good chuckle. I really do hope that I turn out to be the same kind of unbalanced 45 year old that you are.

I do like the peanut M&M's idea. LOVE them. And thanks for the research help. Now all I need is a family that "understands" that it's not ok to see mummy in the bath.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

This is hilarious Helen. I think you just gave me another reason to not buy a Wii, it's as bad as those ads I wrote about!