I took LQ along just because we were going to the pool in That Girl's complex and I thought LQ might like it.
That Girl has just moved her family of three boys and a husband back to the US after living in Brazil for about five years. I sympathised with her when she recently wrote a post about cranky children and moving. I guess I just wanted an excuse to meet her, so we arranged a time to meet up and put our plan into action.
Before I left the house for my play date, I popped a few Midol pills. This was so my play wouldn't be hindered by any discomfort that I may have felt from my dearest monthly visit (BLAST that period pain!!).
In my Midol haze I may have:
- Forgotten any sun protection for LQ - HELLOOOO we were going to the pool!
- Made the decision NOT to bring my own bathers because, I reasoned, it wasn't really a pool but just a sort of sprinkler park - HELLOOOO we were going to the P.O.O.L!
- Scared the be-whatsit out of That Girl by not knocking loud enough on her door and then having her just walk straight into me (the skulker)
- Decided against putting a swimming nappy (diaper) on LQ because I planned on just leaving her diaper-less.
- made That Girl loan me her nicest swimsuit. On a side note: I FIT INTO THAT GIRL'S SWIMSUIT!!!! (I am so excited about that. Do you know how fantastic she looks?!)
- Forgotten to take LQ's diaper off
- slathered suncream on LQ but forgot to put any on myself
- panicked halfway through our swim and made LQ stand in the shade until That Girl offered her son's t-shirt for LQ to wear in the pool
- just generally behaved erratically and unlike myself
I quickly prayed for a fast and painless death so that I wouldn't be burdened with the shame of scooping up the insides (that were no longer inside) of LQ's diaper and walking the long walk to the garbage bin.
No such luck. It was like I was having an out of body experience. I couldn't look anyone in the eye. I may have mumbled "Speaking of social faux pas..." and then forced a laugh that could have sounded more like a donkey's bray - I can't remember, my brain is already erasing this painful memory in an effort to make me feel better about myself.
I had hoped to help That Girl feel better about her "new girl" status by organising a play date. I am now 100% sure that the only way I made her feel better was when she realised that she is nowhere near being as retarded as I am.
That Girl is such a wonderful girl that she probably decided to overlook my Midol hazed stare, my constant stream of idiotic decisions and then my total lack of propriety by eating her food and then running off into the sunset. But I will completely understand if when I contact her when I am here again next year she hesitates before replying.