Monday, 20 September 2010

Not a lot of Light in this Post

We are leaving in two days.

We are taking what we can in six large suitcases, three carry-on suitcases and "personal" bags.

As an aside, I've seen women with "personal bags" that are larger than their carry-on suitcases, overflowing with who knows what, whacking unsuspecting flyers in the head as they totter past on their too-high-for-flying shoes. It gives me the willies.

... and while I can list off to you many reasons for being excited for this journey, at this point I am not sure any of those reasons would help.

The facts are: I love Hobart (and Tasmania) more than I can possibly explain; Dal and I both feel like this place fits us perfectly; The people we have met have become good friends fast; There aren't nearly enough negative things about Hobart and its people for me to be clambering to get on the plane.

Leaving all this makes me Sad. Sad is ok. I can do sad. I can handle it. But I am afraid. Afraid that the sad will turn into something more. And that I can't do.

Just over a year ago, I wrote about anti-depressants, miscarriages and other unhappy things. I have had depression before. When I was 19 I tried to check out of life for a while (Read: I took way too many anti-depressants with the intention of rendering myself unconscious). I like to think I am at least past that stage in my life. I have visited many psychologists, counsellors and psychiatrists who have given me a good number of coping skills. But the first half of last year saw me curled up on the floor paralysed by emotion too many times.

I guess I am afraid of a repeat. I know circumstances will be completely different, but still that voice of self doubt pops up every now and then telling me that I have a weakness. And conditions are ripe for my weakness to take over.

Even as I write this, though, I am reminded that there is also strength. Inner strength, spiritual strength, strength from my family and a strong husband (who is currently mumbling something about a "big fat Mario").

So here's to getting on that plane sad but not afraid.

Saturday, 11 September 2010

We've been wearing this girl out

It seems she can't wait until bed to go to sleep.




Yes. It's a toothbrush. And LQ has had a haircut.


Sunday, 5 September 2010

We have been busy

Dal, Hel and Bel have successfully moved into Hel's parent's house.

We are enjoying the cosiness of it all (for now).

We had the moving sale.

Hel didn't like selling Bel's baby clothes. Hel may have almost vomited when someone found the first outfit Bel ever wore. Dal also mentioned how hard it was letting go of Bel's things.

We packed things and more things appeared. We packed some more and the wardrobes spewed forth even more stuff. Hel became ruthless and started throwing out perfectly good shoes and clothes. But not one single part of her sewing cupboard was thrown out. Hel knows her priorities. We cleaned and weeded and mowed and moved. And then we handed our keys to the landlord. Hel did it with a lump in her throat.

Hel received word that her Visa interview is on the 14th September. Dal and Hel went crazy and bought flights to everywhere (not really everywhere, just to Sydney and LA).

Dal and Hel would like to announce that they will be touching down in America on the 22nd September (provided everything goes well with the Visa). Hel is excited she gets to see her brother as he passes through LA on his way home from his mission (French speaking in a part of Canada Hel can't quite remember right now).

Hel is tired. Dal is tired. And Bel is enjoying telling everyone what to do ("DANCE!!")