It's a long story.
The first time my brain fell out was when LQ was born.
The second time was more recently. It all started with some anti-depressants.
I visited the doctor a few months back in the hopes she could save me from myself. My hormones seemed to be attacking me on a regular basis, sometimes leaving me completely incapable of doing anything for two weeks of my life. Dal would often come home to find me curled up on the floor incapacitated from the utter despair I felt over whatever was worrying me that day. This frustrated me, because for the other two weeks of my life, I felt the complete opposite. I could have taken on the world and won.
So I was at the doctor hoping she could help. Like any good doctor, she prescribed anti-depressants immediately. I have had not so good experiences with anti-depressants before and was reluctant to go through it all again. However, I felt it best to at least try the things so I could rule out one thing.
To my complete surprise those little half pills were amazing. For three days I felt like super woman. And then... I got a little feeling that maybe I had a little sprite growing inside me. I ceased taking the happy pill and had the pregnancy confirmed.
I didn't think it possible to lose something that was barely there at all, but it seems my mushy brain became even mushier.
Fast forward 5 weeks to Friday evening. To spare you all the bloody, gory details I will just tell you that I miscarried. An ambulance, emergency room and two hours sleep was involved in the evening. It WAS a completely body shocking experience and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It seems to be a secret part of motherhood that not too many people talk about. I would venture a guess that most mothers (or mothers to be) have had at least one miscarriage, but it's not until it has happened to you that these people share their stories. And understandably so... it's probably something you wouldn't want to relive over and over like a birth story.
But I am off on a tangent - this post isn't about my miscarriage, it's about my brains falling out all over again.
To say I have been vague the past few months may be an understatement, but following the events over the weekend I can now categorically say that my brains have completely fallen out again.
It has been a struggle to finish sentences.
I hope this excuses me from the lack of posts and comments and hopefully saves me from a possible beating from an un-named source *cough - DeNae - cough* :) You should see my other blog - completely neglected.