Saturday, 3 October 2009

thinking it over

I think a lot.

I think while I am shaving my legs. I think while I lay in bed waiting for sleep to take over. I think as I am doing the business that should be private but never is once you have children. I am prone to interrupting my daily routine to blankly stare into nothing while I think.

I may stare at a wall envisioning the grandeur of a project that may never leave the dark recesses of my mind. My eyes may be closed in an effort to lull my body to sleep but my thoughts reveal in great detail grand designs. Dal is barraged with life's deep questions at the very moment he slides from awake to semi-consciousness. Many tasks that are started go by the wayside as I think of more efficient ways of doing them. Often I will think in blog posts. My laundry is no longer a chore but a very interesting post about separating colours. The image in the mirror is not seen while I brush my teeth and talk of many subjects that are important to me.

But put me in front of a computer with my blogger dashboard on the screen and you could hear your own echo bounce around my skull. I sit and struggle with my lack of thoughts, willing those ideas that were once plentiful to poke their heads around the corner and just give me a hello.

I sit still, wanting you to know that I think of important issues ALL. THE. TIME. I need you to know that I have an opinion on politics. I am willing to share my insights with you, but they are never there when I need them. My views on religion are beautiful and simple. I take my thoughts on motherhood quite seriously.

And yet, whenever I have these thoughts I am never quite in a position to tell them to you. And like the bubble floating through the air and popping, so do my thoughts and ideas. Although unlike bubbles they usually come back to haunt me as soon as I close the laptop.

So instead of grand ideas, spiritual thoughts and deep philosophies, I give you....

my naked child.

And then I poke fun at her (she ran around the basement after this photo, trying to avoid being clothed). And I like it. Because although I would like you to think that I have a brain, I don't really. And naked photos make me giggle.

1 comment:

DeNae said...

Fabulous! You led us down a path that we believed would take us to something profound and meaningful.

And then it did.

Love you, Helen!