Thursday, 30 April 2009

Google THIS

That's IT!! I have had ENOUGH!

It's just too much information for one girl to handle.

Goodbye World Wide Web. I am no longer in love with you.

When did it become ok to not only give me the information I seek, but also provide me with at least three other things that I should be doing? I used to think this was a cute little quirk of the internet. How wonderful.... I get more information than I asked for. Oh goody, now I know I am not supposed to be brushing my child's hair a certain way. Lucky I happened across that one while I looked for good toddler activities.

Don't you see, internet, that you are slowly pushing me into insanity? I try to fix one problem that you have told me about and instead of helping me fix that problem, you tell me of more things that I may be doing wrong.

Today I learned that television MAY not be good for children under two. I have heard that one before, so thanks for verifying it, dear internet, but couldn't you have stopped with that one? That one I could have handled on its own. But you kept going. You told me studies reveal that late talkers are most likely to have apraxia (whatever THAT is).... but hold up... here's someone telling me that late talkers are most likely genuises. Ok, so I'm over the apraxia. What's that you are telling me now? I should still see a specialist? Alright... I'm on it.

But wait - there's a link here that may help me with those activities I was after. Ugh, I've been tricked again. It turns out once my child turns two, I should be thinking about lowering her fat intake. No more full cream milk - 2% all the way and make sure that all the food in your house is no longer tasty. Does that mean I should be on low fat foods too? Google it. Eeeek! Google thinks I may be obese.

I'll leave that one alone.

After I have uncurled myself from the sobbing fetal position that I am currently in.

No, I'm sorry WWW. That useful link is too late. The low fat foods has sent me over the edge and I am no longer your friend. I am keeping away from you for a few days. Don't text me.


DeNae said...

How did I miss this post? I took a breather from blog world, so in my own way I, too, bid a temporary farewell to the WWW. If I'm not careful, I can waste days at a time learning the kinds of super-important things you describe here.

Mama Nut said...

LOL! That is soooo me! I came back to read some more of your posts. I am glad I found this one because I looked up those same things about late talkers!! I am totally convinced my Sam is a genius -- who wouldn't want their kid to be? And the whole TV thing... well, I grew up on TV because my parents both worked and I turned out fine, I think... Stop laughing! I really did turn out ok... all right, maybe I am a little on the kookie side. But all is well!