Monday, 1 November 2010


Dal gets new uniforms with his new office. Given the amount of uniform allowance that he has, he decided he would get me to take measurements to ensure the correct clothing was ordered.

Dal grabbed the tape measure, a pen and some paper this evening and we set to work measuring his hips, his neck, his arm length and chest. LQ sat on the bed and watched. I would measure, say the inches and Dal would write.

LQ insisted I measure her little body once I was done with Dal. Chest, waist and hips all measuring the same, making sure to lift up her shirt so I could get a proper measurement of her chest. Dal pretended to be interested as I called out her numbers. Then it was Mummy's turn to be measured. Although she could only get her arms around my neck, she tried to measure my "boobies" first.

"40-Ten!" She announced to Daddy.

Because the chest measurement had proved to be a little awkward, she went for my neck next.

"40-Ten!" Daddy took note that my neck was as wide as my chest. I assure you that I am NOT living a secret life as "Busty Bear", The Pro Wrestler. Nor am I winning any body building contests... I have a nice neck to chest ratio, thank you.

Dal's turn next. His boobies measured a nice round "40-ten!". Either he's got the nicest set of man-boobies around, or I need some implants. At this point I figured Daddy had the measuring under control, so I went off to do something mundane like crawling in to the clothes dryer to see how big it truly is.

I came back to hear that LQ's toes were indeed measuring at a staggering "40-ten!"

This may have been one of those moments that, had I been a "good" mother, I could have taught LQ the meaning of numbers and what two numbers together really looked like. Instead I had a good laugh - and then vowed to lose some weight from my neck.


Miriam said...

This was great reading Bel. Hilarious.

fifi said...

Helen did you find a good headhunting job? Cause I haven't yet. Maybe I'll have to go to this site....

Anyways doidy is cute. Jack and niko say things sometimes that burst out laughing at. Today he made me spin him around on a chair and when he got up he ran straight into a glass door. It was hilarious. Niko shoving a thermometer in his ear and screaming bloody murder however, was not hilarious.

I wonder if I measure 40-10 as well. I'm probably only 30-10 hahaha