Saturday, 3 July 2010

How NOT to make babies

I am sure it is no secret that Dal and I want to have more than one child. We are really happy with the one we have (although sometimes you would be forgiven for thinking we are not) and would like more of the same.

For reasons we are not sure of just yet, we haven't been very successful in the baby making business this last year. We haven't been very proactive about it... just a kind of lazy baby making (Fi, are you freaking out yet? Too much information?).

Last month I said "ENOUGH". Time to get serious about this project (do you see my project list on the side there? It hasn't changed in almost 9 months. I am SO good at completing projects). So I went to the chemist and bought myself an Ovulation prediction kit. I stood in the baby making (or NON baby making) aisle in the chemist for way too long trying to decide if I wanted to catch my pee in a cup or for $5 more just pee on a stick. I guess I am cheaper than I thought because I went with the cup to save my $5.

And then I waited for the day to come when I could use my little kit. We didn't have too many visitors to the house that month, but the ones that came over and used our bathroom were lucky enough to be confronted with the whale sized box that my kit came in. Yep... the Petersen's are "TRYING".

The day arrived that I could start using my "pee in a cup" kit. It turned into an interesting juggling act when LQ walked in halfway through and wanted to help. I believe my attempt at being careful may have been more successful if I hadn't managed to throw pee all over myself and the walls. Don't worry, there was still some left in the cup to test. LQ was very interested in that part of the process too. I had to stand there for "not less than five minutes but no more than ten minutes" constantly pulling LQ's hand away from the specimen. "No, LQ. Yucky". Once everything had been cleaned up LQ proclaimed it a success and said "Good girl, Mummy. Good girl."

OI! I am pretty certain a woman with a similar experience to mine invented the pee on a stick version.

Side note: Dallas managed to be in Thailand when I ovulated. I am pretty certain that's NOT how you make babies.


Miriam said...

This made me Laugh. We had a couple of incidents when Leila was a Toddler: she walked in on Damien peeing in the toilet, looked at what he was holding at the time and thought "How cool! you point it around and squirt things!".
She looked up at her Daddy and said "Can I have a turn?".

Amy said...

Helen we love you and miss you! I love the way you write, you are very talented. I'm always excited when you post, because I find it so true to motherhood. It's the fun little wonderful things that spontaniously occur in the day with a child (Jackson is full of them lately too) that you put into words so well. It's refreshing. We are really looking foward to having you back in the States. We will pray for you. Sorry I don't always post, I'm working on being better.

Stephen and Chernoa said... are hilarious! Bad planning on Dallas' part....tuttutut! I would have made him cancel the trip...hahahaha. But you ask steve im the baby making natzee!! Goodluck with it all now that you have seriously cracked down:)

Bron Williams said...

<3 ..this is supposed to be a love heart

fifi said...

Ummm so I wasn't grossed out at all until the very last line. Eww can you keep your ovulation schedule to yourself ;)

Cynthia said...

I always hated those kits! It was 'when it gets to just this shade of blue, you're good to go' and it was always so hard to tell which shade of blue was The One. Good luck to you guys!

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Sounds like the product might have been a little more birth-controlling than it should have been. They should work on that. Obviously designed for people who have no children already. They should also put a note on the box that the product is not guaranteed to work if your husband's in Thailand. Good luck!

Ev said...

lol hilarious!