The Mice Shall Play

How do you get to this state without your mother saying anything?

A number of stars MUST align for this one.

First, make sure you wake up an hour earlier than your usual time. This helps your mother stay in a fog for most of the morning, giving you leave to do anything as long as it keeps you quiet.

If it is your mother's birthday, all the better, because then she will have this insane idea that she's entitled to some extra sleep.

Ask to watch the same tv show over and over.

Now watch closely as your mother's eyes gently close. Note the mouth open to eyes closed ratio. The wider the mouth, the more soundly she is sleeping.

Once your mother is in a deep slumber you may do as you please. If what you please is sucking on a green marker until ALL the ink is gone, then go DO IT! If you prefer to throw things about, by all means, but make sure you do it quietly enough that your gaping mouthed mother isn't disturbed.

Always remember that your time is limited. The end credits of your favourite tv show usually rouses your mother awake, so at best you have only 30 minutes. Use the 30 minutes wisely, making as much destruction as possible.

P.S. In her confused state you mother may even give you cookies afterward. Play your cards right and your mother's birthday could turn out to be YOUR best day of the year.

What happened to the Ninja Kangaroos?

It is embarrassing, but I will admit that the only way I learn of what is going on in the world is through other people's blogs.

It's a good thing DeNae posted about the Ninja Kangaroo or I wouldn't have been aware of the danger that was so close by.

Swine Flu??! I had to ask Dal what all these crazy ladies were talking about after I read my fifth post on being prepared for the swine flu. To be honest I thought it was some sort of blogging world joke that I wasn't in on (sometimes that happens... being over the other side of the world and all... I wake up a little later than everyone else).

Of course, once I figured out that the Swine Flu wasn't a blogging hoax, I decided that maybe, just maybe, I should make more of an effort to find out what is happening in this world o' mine. So I subscribed to an internet news feed and LQ and I now share our morning television time. She watches a show and then I watch some news, she watches a show, etc.

Here's the problem - I have only discovered that life outside our home is somewhat depressing. Politicians are snarky, the northern part of our State is being evacuated because of rising river banks, the Swine Flu is increasing its efforts, a father is on trial for throwing his daughter off a bridge, etc. I was certain that all I would be reading about was more Ninja Kangaroos... what happened to those?

Is it so bad if I go back to finding out what day it is by Nick Jr's Ollie singing it to me?

Puff the Magic Tampon

I've said it before and I will say it again - Tampons are the toy of the future.

From LQ's new toy

From LQ's new toy

From LQ's new toy

If your child is lucky enough to get the ones with the applicator, that's another three hours of joy right there.

Can you feel the panic in you?

I picked up a few craft supplies from Spotlight (the Australian equivalent of Joanns) by myself several days ago. LQ stayed home with Dal while I reveled in the sweet moments of browsing the felt aisle and picking a few zips without LQ constantly pulling on my leg, recklessly running in the fabric section and selecting several different coloured thread all the while exclaiming "OOOooOOH!" (said with at least three different inflections)

I almost made it my permanent home I was so happy.

After getting the desired items, I made my way over to the cash registers. There was quite a line up of women wanting their fabric selections to be measured, cut and paid for. As I joined the line, I noticed a sign stating that any customers with barcode items only were more than welcome to go downstairs to the manchester and drapery registers. As I had only barcode items, I pranced down the stairs to an eerily empty (of people) basement.

Two women were intently sorting curtain rings and only looked up from their all important work once I stood at the counter for 30 seconds or so.

I handed over my felt, zips, clips and thread. The thread, clips and zips were quickly scanned by the shorter lady while the other ambled over to the other side of counter to get a bag for the items.

It wasn't until the shorter lady said "Sorry, but I just HATE the feel of felt" that I noticed she had been flicking the felt over with her perfectly shaped red acrylic nails, using as little of her hands and fingers as possible. I nodded as though I understood her predicament. I get it... I don't like writing on chalkboards, so I would give her her weird touch phobia.

Bag lady had finally made her way back and was placing my items in the bag. She nodded gravely as her store friend admitted her fear of felt. "I hate it too" she added. "In fact I can't touch that seventies type material too.... what do you call it? Velvet? Ugh, yes. I can't stand touching that either!"

Both these fabric freaks continued with their rhetoric while they left the felt on the table top.

"How about I put that felt in the bag myself" I offered with a sigh. "You ladies are sure working in the right sort of place, aren't you?"

If I am searching for a job any time soon, my first port of call is Spotlight. It seems their employee interview/screening process isn't all that tough. What are the chances you'd get TWO fabric phobics in the one store?

Quiet Bag Giveaway

The winner of the Quiet Bag is

McAuliffe Bunch

Congratulations!

I can't figure out how to copy the screen on this mac laptop, so you will just have to trust me that Random.org picked it out for me.

Thank you everyone who left a comment on Dal's blog. We have been slowly getting through all the recorded movies that we have, so hopefully he will post another review soon.

On another Quiet Bag note, if you are interested in helping me earn a bit of pocket money and would like to buy a Quiet Bag, let me know. Because we will be in the US in July, I can bring any orders that I have with me and save a TON on shipping costs.

Joos, Ahmen.

LQ likes to finish each of her books with "Ah-men" now.

We enjoyed the beautiful weather today by sitting out on the back lawn and taking photos of our "Joos".




Yes, that is LQ in her pyjamas. Yes, they are her Christmas pyjamas. And, Yes, that is the afternoon sun on her face. What of it? If you have any complaints send them care of Heldoesnotcare@christmaspyjamasarewarm.com.

P.S. Matthew - I got some great photos of the lawn. Would you like me to email them or load them on to picasa and share?

Regarding Bob

Just over a year ago, Dal, Hel and Bel were moving into their second place of residence in Sydney. This move came out of necessity. It was necessary that we didn't line the pockets of our first landlord with any more money than was due him. Our landlord thought it necessary for us to pay him $25 more in rent a week and we thought it necessary that he take a hike and we move OUT immediately.

Because we were attempting to move as cheaply as possible we needed a good trailer and car combo to get all our furniture the ten minutes down the road. My parents volunteered to drive the 12 hours from their place to ours with their four wheel drive (with tow bar) along with my little brother to help with the move.

Being a part of the Mormon church has its perks, one of them being the insta-removalists that can be conjoured from thin air at any given moment. Of course this means being an insta-removalist at many points during your life (but that's a different post). So, along with our insta-removalists, my parents and little brother and LQ (she was a BIG help.... cough, cough) we managed to move our entire household in one afternoon.

It is customary to pay for any insta-removalist by providing dinner/pizza after the big move. We dutifully paid our debt with plenty of good pizza available at the new house. I failed to mention that most times the insta-removalists will partly consist of two of our strapping young missionaries that seem to plague the countryside. See... they really are useful!

The conversation over pizza and soda was titillating. I am not sure if you have noticed, but a lot of those strapping young missionaries are usually from somewhere in North America. The conversation came around to the inevitable link that we as Mormons all have. One of the Elders (missionary) mentioned he came from Lethbridge, Canada. Dad, being an expert on all things Canadian, just like he is an expert on all things Japanese because he once spent six weeks there, started telling this young man all about Canada. Although dad has never been to Lethbridge, he liked to think he had a special connection with this particular young man.

In my many travels I have come across a grand phenomena. Where ever there is a foreigner the locals will try to play the connection game. Dad plays this game particularly well.

The conversation moved on. The pizza moved on to a better place. Time came for our helpers to move on. We thanked them and as they moved down the hall toward the door, dad in a desperate bid to stay in the mind of our Lethbridge friend yelled from the living room,

"GIVE MY REGARDS TO LETHBRIDGE!!!"

And I couldn't help but shimmy down the hall with my spirit fingers out kicking my legs in true show girl fashion.

Of course it is now customary to address any departing visitor with the famed "Give my regards to Lethbridge!"

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Remember - it is the last day you can leave a comment on my husband's blog to win this