How do you get to this state without your mother saying anything?
A number of stars MUST align for this one.
First, make sure you wake up an hour earlier than your usual time. This helps your mother stay in a fog for most of the morning, giving you leave to do anything as long as it keeps you quiet.
If it is your mother's birthday, all the better, because then she will have this insane idea that she's entitled to some extra sleep.
Ask to watch the same tv show over and over.
Now watch closely as your mother's eyes gently close. Note the mouth open to eyes closed ratio. The wider the mouth, the more soundly she is sleeping.
Once your mother is in a deep slumber you may do as you please. If what you please is sucking on a green marker until ALL the ink is gone, then go DO IT! If you prefer to throw things about, by all means, but make sure you do it quietly enough that your gaping mouthed mother isn't disturbed.
Always remember that your time is limited. The end credits of your favourite tv show usually rouses your mother awake, so at best you have only 30 minutes. Use the 30 minutes wisely, making as much destruction as possible.
P.S. In her confused state you mother may even give you cookies afterward. Play your cards right and your mother's birthday could turn out to be YOUR best day of the year.
A number of stars MUST align for this one.
First, make sure you wake up an hour earlier than your usual time. This helps your mother stay in a fog for most of the morning, giving you leave to do anything as long as it keeps you quiet.
If it is your mother's birthday, all the better, because then she will have this insane idea that she's entitled to some extra sleep.
Ask to watch the same tv show over and over.
Now watch closely as your mother's eyes gently close. Note the mouth open to eyes closed ratio. The wider the mouth, the more soundly she is sleeping.
Once your mother is in a deep slumber you may do as you please. If what you please is sucking on a green marker until ALL the ink is gone, then go DO IT! If you prefer to throw things about, by all means, but make sure you do it quietly enough that your gaping mouthed mother isn't disturbed.
Always remember that your time is limited. The end credits of your favourite tv show usually rouses your mother awake, so at best you have only 30 minutes. Use the 30 minutes wisely, making as much destruction as possible.
P.S. In her confused state you mother may even give you cookies afterward. Play your cards right and your mother's birthday could turn out to be YOUR best day of the year.
6 comments:
haha the mice? more like the little rat child. Only 3 and a half weeks til I'm there!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, the dangers of a silent toddler. That quiet is NEVER a good sign.
And Happy Birthday, Helen!! Did you blog about your big day and I missed it? I hope you had a wonderful day, green marker and all!
Oh my this looks all too familiar! Audrey wakes up around 5:30 and sometimes I give it all I've got to stay awake but it just doesn't work out. So while I'm sprawled out on the floor half asleep listening to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Audrey is running a muck. As far as the markers go, I swear Audrey can make those things appear out of thin air! Todays markings were in a lovely red all over the wall and herself. At least it was washable. Oh the joys of motherhood.
Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I need to make myself a birthday calendar.
HAHAHAHAHA! Oh my gosh, hilarious. I loved reading this from her point of view. So, so accurate!
Too cute! Love the last pic especially!
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